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Dr. Becky's holiday parenting tips, from gift-giving to in-laws

3:55
Dr. Becky’s advice for parents over the holidays
ABC News
BySarah Lang, Ilana Katz, and Sara Russell
December 17, 2024, 3:48 PM

The holiday season is usually special and full of meaning but sometimes, it can be stressful. For parents, this time of year can bring up unique challenges they don't typically face throughout the year.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy joined "Good Morning America" to share her top tips on keeping the peace and balancing family rules around extended family and friends.

In order to focus more on fun and quality time, Kennedy recommends setting expectations right off the bat.

"Expectation setting is step one in having a holiday that's going to actually feel good to you," said Kennedy, the founder of the parenting approach Good Inside.

How to manage different sets of rules

In this undated stock photo, a family is seen having dinner on Christmas.
STOCK PHOTO/Adobe Stock

Family rules naturally vary among households, but Kennedy suggests parents stay flexible when it comes to rule changes during the holidays.

"Let's say you're a family where my kids watch no TV after a certain time and then, your kids are with their cousins, who are all watching a movie late at night," Kennedy said. "And if you're like, if I change this rule today, it doesn't mean, oh, that rule is gone forever. I give myself permission to shift things, to make things work over the holiday."

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Extended family members might not agree with a parenting approach, but Kennedy said the best approach is to stay diplomatic.

"You are not alone in this dilemma," Kennedy said.

"One of my favorite lines is actually to defuse it by saying something like, 'You're right. We're doing things with Bobby that are different than what you would do. It's OK that we don't agree.'"

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How to handle too many gifts for your kids

In this undated stock photo, a family is seen sitting in front of their Christmas tree.
STOCK PHOTO/Adobe Stock

Receiving too many gifts at one time doesn't automatically mean your children will turn into spoiled kids, according to Kennedy.

"Your parents giving your kid boatloads of gifts is not going to turn your kid into an entitled monster," Kennedy said. "Your child is parented by you 365 days of the year. Their development -- that happens over such longer amounts of time than the holiday week."

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"We have to start with -- when you want something and you get something different, that's just a hard human experience," Kennedy said.

"You can get a box. I've done this with my kids and I put, like, a rock in it. It's a little bit of a dry run. And I gave it to my daughter -- after we did this and she opened it, she was like, 'Oh, thanks so much for thinking of me.'"

"We can't expect ourselves to use a skill when we need it if we haven't practiced that skill," Kennedy added.

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