‘I was just numb’: Hayden Panettiere's mother breaks silence on daughter's death
Hayden Panettiere's mother is opening up about how she hopes her daughter will be remembered following the actress's death at age 36.
"I want Hayden to be remembered for the talented, you know, beautiful, outgoing, intelligent woman she really was," Lesley Vogel told ABC News.
Panettiere, known for her roles in "Heroes," "Nashville" and "Ice Princess," died on Aug. 16 after she was found unresponsive and in cardiac arrest at a residence in Greenville, South Carolina. First responders attempted to resuscitate her, but she was pronounced dead at the scene.
Vogel described the moment she heard the news, saying, “I was numb. I was just numb."
“I still am not grasping this is real. It just doesn't, it doesn't feel real,” she said. “My mind tells me it's not at times. You know, it's going to be a process."
She acknowledged the difficulty of mourning someone who was in the public eye, describing potential critics as “haters” and telling them that they “don’t have a right to tell me how to mourn the loss of my second child, that’s my domain.”
Vogel and Skip Panettiere, Hayden’s parents, who divorced when she was young, lost their son, Jansen, in 2023. The family said in its statement at the time that Jansen died from an enlarged heart.
Their daughter's death came months after Hayden Panettiere spoke publicly about her relationship with her mother, who served as her acting coach and manager in her childhood.
In a May interview with ABC News, Hayden Panettiere said trying to maintain a relationship with her had been "tough."
"Over the years, I've tried to leave that door open, hoping that the relationship would evolve into a healthy mother-daughter relationship, and it's obvious that that's just not going to be the case," she explained.
At the time, Vogel responded to her daughter's comments in a statement to Page Six, saying she had chosen to go "the no-contact route" after taking "the advice of professionals."
Speaking with ABC News on Sunday, Vogel said her relationship with Hayden Panettiere evolved as she grew older.
Vogel recalled that the actress had landed her “Heroes” role of Claire Bennet, a cheerleader with supernatural abilities, as a 16-year-old. Until then Panettiere had lived “a very happy life,” Vogel said, adding, “but I would say at about 17, I started seeing her going downhill.”
“As she got older, then it wasn't my voice anymore. I wasn't in charge of her choices,” Vogel said. “I tried to give her the best advice I could, but again, you know, any young person, teen, come on, they want to be liberated. And I get that. I did get that!”
Hayden Panettiere had been candid about her struggles from child stardom through adulthood, releasing a memoir, "This Is Me: A Reckoning," in May in which she wrote about postpartum depression, addiction and recovery, domestic abuse and more.
The book includes a scene in which Hayden Panettiere told her mother at 19 that she didn’t want to be managed by her anymore. The book describes Vogel’s response, which the book said was Vogel saying, “You owe me.”
“I remember being in her trailer and literally saying nothing,” Vogel told ABC News. “I was -- I knew that day would come. It's not that I didn't expect it, but it was very short, very brief conversation, and then she turned and went to set. But did it hurt to read that in the book? You know, it just -- I know I didn't say what she said.”
The Greenville City Police Department is leading the investigation into Hayden Panettiere's death, with the Drug Enforcement Administration assisting, according to sources familiar with the matter.
According to a police report obtained by ABC News, Hayden Panettiere was with her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Brian Hickerson, and his brother, Zach Hickerson, at the time of her death. The report said it was unknown whether Hayden Panettiere had been using drugs or alcohol.
Hayden Panettiere's official cause and manner of death "remain pending further investigation and the completion of additional studies," the coroner's office said.
Vogel and Hayden Panettiere were estranged in the actor’s final months, a separation that Vogel said came about after she went to stay with her daughter about a year ago. Vogel said Hayden Panettiere at that time wanted to get out of her relationship with Hickerson.
“She knew that Brian was toxic,” Vogel said. “She knew she had to get him out of her life.”
But after about six weeks, Vogel said, she noticed her daughter pulling away, so she returned home to Florida. Vogel said Hayden Panettiere called her and told her that she was “going to be with the person I love,” which was Hickerson.
Vogel said she issued her daughter an ultimatum, telling her she couldn’t be in her life if Hickerson was also a part of it. She said she had expected the estrangement that followed to be a “pocket of time.”
She said she didn’t “by any stretch of the imagination think that this was going to happen to Hayden.”
“I'll be honest. It just, I don't know why, I just didn't,” she added. “Maybe I didn't want to.”
Vogel said Hickerson and Hayden Panettiere grew closer in 2018 after she ceded full custody of her daughter, who was then 4, to her ex-fiance, longtime heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko.
“That was probably the catalyst,” she said. “In my opinion, that was the catalyst that she just couldn't keep those demons away. I think she struggled, and Brian came into her life. She was vulnerable."
Hickerson pleaded no contest to two felony counts of injuring a spouse or girlfriend in April 2021.
Hickerson's attorney shared a statement with ABC News on Thursday, writing, "Hayden's death remains under investigation and it is important to allow that investigation to proceed. As has been publicly reported, police confirmed there were no signs of foul play. Out of respect for Hayden's loved ones and the ongoing investigation, there will be no further comment at this time."
Vogel said she wants her daughter to be remembered as the “talented, beautiful, outgoing, intelligent woman” she had been.
“But I also want people to understand that it is my belief that ... she was suffering,” Vogel said. “Now that doesn't make sense because when you look at a beautiful girl who's got an incredible career, even though it has had its ups and downs, but you know, you look that big picture and you go, why would you be suffering? People don't understand that you can have on the exterior all of this. But that doesn't mean that what's going on in here matches.”
